Oooops, no nickel and no dime....

So, in my fantastical scenario or novel or screenplay called GARBAGE: The trashing of small business in the BIG CITY, it starts like this:

DISCLAIMER:
Quantified and Qualified
This is a totally made up fictional expose. Nothing that you
might choose to read in the following ever, ever….ever happened. Its all
fiction and not based on any real events. The names didn’t need to be changed
because the characters inside this Totally Fictional Expose couldn’t possibly
exist in the real world. J
 
YAWN
 
It always begins with a yawn…or it should. I hate to wake up
with a jolt of reality too strong and too clear.  I prefer to gently maneuver my mind from the surreal to the
real. And strong coffee is the stimulant of choice to get my juices flowing.
 
…and so it was, Mr. Mayor Man stirred from his sleep and
without a conscious thought reached over and hit the button on his nightstand.
He reached for his glasses and turned on the lamp on his nightstand. The big
clock on the mantle of his over sized fireplace said 5:30 and it was still
quite dark. Mr. Mayor Man, known to me as MMM, quickly sat up and let his feet
fall to the floor searching for his slippers. As he stood up and smoothed out
his silk pajamas he heard a screeching sound outside. MMM moved to the window
just slowing his pace to reach for his dark blue robe. He came to a halt at the
window and as he slipped his arms into his robe MMM saw something he’s seen
before but it had a strange and wondrous resonance in his mind and on the wet
street below.
 
It had rained hard all night and MMM had trouble staying in
bed. He did his usual sleep mantra he concocted years ago.
 
In his head he went through the litany:
I send my unconditional love to the light
I send my unconditional love to the keepers of the light
I send my unconditional love to the high……
And slipped back into sleep.
 
It had been a tough day at City Hall that day. Though he was
known as a mega businessman and a trillionaire to boot, he couldn’t get a grasp
on how to resolve the immediate disaster that was facing the Big City. Now,
standing at the window he saw the cause of the screech that roused him. He also
found the solution to his most aggravating concern. He thought, clichés are
great, because a light bulb just went off in my head. It was if the dark clouds
cleared and the sun streamed down and settled on this extraordinary sight, a
city tow truck driving off with a baby blue sedan with out of state plates
attached to its rear like a giant blue tuna ready to be butchered and served at
one of the top sushi restaurants in the neighborhood. MMM’s head was reeling;
he reached for one of the phones on his bedroom desk.
 
“John here Mr. Mayor Man”
 
“John, I just got this idea to solve our fiscal problems”
 
“Yes sir, what were you thinking?”
 
“But first, we can’t write down any of this and we can’t go
public. It all has to be on the super duper hush”
 
“Sir.”
 
“John, stop with the sir thing. You know it drives me crazy.
If you must call me mayor but after all these years we could go back to just
Steve.”
 
“Sorry. Mayor, you are on a secure phone?”
 
“ John, I have like a dozen phones here. Call me back in ten
minutes on a secure one and get someone to change it to a red one today”
 
“Yes s….Mayor. I’ll call you in ten”
 
“Great”
 
MMM had to pee bad and he hated to be on the phone when he
was doing so. He had an issue with knowing someone could hear him and a real
issue of having dropped his phone in the toilet too many times.
 
Ring, Ring……
 
“Mayor”
 
“Hey John. So, I woke up to this city tow truck towing a car
away and this flashed off in my mind. Let’s ticket everybody and everything.
Have every agency start enforcing ever regulation and issue violations.” Now,
you have to understand MMM was very excited about this idea and John, knowing
the mayor, listened closely. The mayor had gotten here by being creative in business,
by not coming across as ruthless and giving the appearance of worldly
experience and community concern.
 
“Look John, this is a rental town. People come here to
achieve something so they will forget other things. If we slowly and surely
implement a strategic policy that creates a new and huge source of revenue.”
 
“I think I see where you going with this Mayor.”

Transparency+Responsibility= Action?

I love the explanations. it's always interesting how our leaders give us a take on how they perceive things happened. My problem is the "living in the past" syndrome rather than the "this happened so we are going to do this to fix it" syndrome. And it's a national, state and local problem that they don't seem to ever get. Well, I though Gov. Paterson had a novel approach. He knew what was inevitable and he spilled his dirty laundry all over the media. that's one way.

When it comes to these discretionary funds of the City council, come on! What I think should of been the more effective scenario for Speaker Quinn would of been like this:

Interview in The New York Times. Speaker Quinn announces that there is a practice in our government that her office is going to tackle. After, blah, blah, blah...discovering that there are dummy organizations set up to hold funds until needed Speaker Quinn said "I find this unacceptable and will introduce a bill to the Council to reform the appropriation of these funds." Then she gives her spiel, the media gets their dirt and she looks like she is on top of it....nice work! But this never seems to work like that. It's always the reverse and the solution of the problem seems the last on the list of priorities.

This system of funding projects has been going on for years, decades, centuries. Is it a bad thing that we elect our leaders and allow them to fund projects that they believe are important? Duuuhhh.... I think that's why I would vote for them or oppose them if I felt their funding priorities are not good for me and the city, state or nation. I understand on our local level the system got set up so the mayor wouldn't be able to control the spending and that the money was available later in the fiscal year. Great! And as it should be. I don't want anyone controlling everything because we have seen what that leads to. But.......

In my dream world the legislature would give me, Big Dick, line item veto on everything, hehehe. Then we wouldn't have spent 3 trillion dollars on war, we would have a great educational system, the economy wouldn't be tanking, or as Yul Brenner said in The King and I, "etc, etc,etc....."

Hidden Assets....as usual

I don't know about you but this Christine Quinn  "phony funds" expose comes as no surprise. 

Here is how the NY Times puts it: 

You see, I have been in the arts since day one for me in NYC. That's since the last century, hehehe. Everyone in non-profit knows that City Council members, Borough Presidents, State Legislators, etc. up and down the line have these discretionary funds to put towards projects. And many community groups, arts organizations and so on depend on them and lobby for them. It is and will always be a NYC way of getting money. Is it a bad thing? Well, not if you are getting the money! The part I just don't get is the phony organizations that they set up to hold the money for the real projects. I'm sure its some kind of system set up to get around some regulations for how un-earmarked money has to be accounted for. It's so NYC typical if you ask me.

There isn't a city agency that really takes responsibility in a direct and transparent way. This is why there are cranes falling down, NYC condoms that break and my all time "impressive government award" to the Mayor's stealth program of nickel and dimeing the small business and the middle class in the Big Apple to balance the budget. Congestion tax anyone? Gotten a stupid parking ticket lately? Noticed a slight increase in every license or fee that the city imposes? Have to admit Mister Mayor Man is a smart cookie.

The problem I'm having with Speaker Quinn and her transparency pledge she has always stood for is, OK, you found out about this. You say you stopped the phony organizations part. But where is the comprehensive plan to reform the process of these discretionary funds?

I'm waiting for the answer to that. But, being a bit jaded I admit, I know the city doesn't really go for reform and change very well. It's the old school back room mentality that makes the Big Apple what it is.